And she stood at the entrance of local government secretariat today, looking scared, tired and losing it. I was at the local government secretariat to pick up my PVC, when I met this woman with two kids. She greeted me with a fading voice and requested I helped her with "something" to feed herself and her children.
I had dipped my hands in my pocket but something inside me told me to ask questions. And she blurted...
"Iya mi, Oko mi lo somi da bayi" meaning it is my husband who has turned me to this.
"Ah ah, Oko yin bawo, kiloshele? I probed
And then she told me the story of how her husband, the father of her three kids left her and the children for America, how he promised to come back for them after two years and it's been fourteen years already.
This baffled me. But I didn't want to sound too judgemental, I wanted to know if he took on his responsibilities or if simply he didn't keep in touch. And she told me that for five years after he travelled, he didn't call nor send any money. Infact, he got in touch the sixth year after he had left through his old friend, he sent about N50,000 naira at first, and he later started sending N10,000 which was not constant. I asked if she was working or trading, and that was when I knew her shop was first burgled in Oshodi before being destroyed because of the infrastrustural development by the Lagos state government in Oshodi.
"I have nothing to fetch me money now" She lamented.
She has used up all her savings and her so-called husband has not sent any money this year. She told me if she calls that he would pick and promise to call back but won't and sometimes the wife he is married to over there picks his phone and shout at her...
My Naija people, is this fair at all? How can you leave your wife with three kids and not even look back? I understand that this goes with both gender but from my research, it is more common with the male gender. In the name of seeking greener pasture, a man will leave his wife with children promising them all the good things of life only to go there and not look back.
The eldest of her kids is 19, who just wrote jamb and I imagine, a family who can barely feed, how will she be able to raise school fees?
Dear Nigerian men, if you must go abroad, please make provisions for your immediate family. Set your wife up and ensure you check up on them regularly. Please, some of these women already know you'd get married over there for your papers, but please don't make it worse by "throwing them away". The emotional trauma of you seeing another woman is enough already. Take care of your wife and children. Believe it or not, your actions will always come back to haunt you.
You need to be there if not physically, be there emotionally. Call your family, your "oyinbo wife" can't be with you 24hours all day, for just few minutes she's away, pick your phone and say hello to the mother of your kids. Your future. Please think and make amends.
