Do you know that money is one of the leading factors of relationship crisis and even marraige divorces?The financial misunderstandings in many boyfriend and girlfriendship as well as marraige relationship have led so many people to be tagged as swines and 'gold diggers'.
Through the scope of preferences,research and personal experiences,I have helped to formulate some theories for you Auntie Jil to help you be financially sustainable and independent in your relationship-whatever type it may be and whatever situation it is presently,Know how to get what you want from your man,without crushing your ego,his ego, and the relationship!
THEORY ONE:GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN!-Auntie Jil,you will agree with me that before you met that Uncle Jack,you had been feeding, clothing and spending for yourself.So why did you seem to stop that when he crept into your life?
First and foremost,he came to attend to your heart affairs and your financial affairs is only secondary.Learn to be independent.If you are educated,get a job and if you are not,perhaps you've learnt a trade or handiwork,Madam take that thing seriously because it is your source of livelihood.You have to understand that real men value hardworking women.Don't be lazy!Things most likely turn out the way we don't expect.Believe it or not,life is unpredictable,sometimes,it takes the shape we want but only if we are prepared.If Uncle Jack says he no longer want the relationship,will you stop feeding,clothing and spending?If Baba Fatai dies today,so you will abandon the children and take poison too abi?Madam,please get a life of your own,Biko!It doesn't matter what you do,so far you are happy as long as you get your money from a clean source.Nothing do you.
THEORY TWO:DON'T BE TOO PROUD TO RECIEVE OR ASK-I didn't say or suggest you become too pompous to appreciate whatever your man gives you.No go carry shoulder pad o.If he deems it fit to buy things or gives you money,abeg,no dull am o!Tell him "honey,thanks alot,I appreciate it".Infact,turn Iya aladura for him.Also,if you need something important and you aren't financially galant to get it on your own,please ask.Don't be like "I've not been asking so why should I start now?".No,Auntie,He's to help you through it all.Ask him and be honest.Don't ask for money for exams form and use it to buy Mary K.If you need money for Mary K,ask him.He will give you because he knows you have to look beautiful for him.Be humble in your request.Appreciate him and don't argue the price of whatever he buys for you.We all know that women price well than men,if he buys you Rolex and he says its N20,000 even if you know its N5000,My dear, don't argue the price or suggest that he's been scammed.If you do,I bet you,you wouldn't get anything again from him!
THOERY THREE:DON'T ASK FOR STUPID THINGS FROM HIM-Ahn ahn Auntie,nawa o...After buying phone for you,you will still be expecting he buys you credit card every week abi,you wicked o!What if he is your brother,wouldn't you say he is a mugun?After buying you gown,you expect he buys you pant and bra abi,So before he came into your life,you no dey call abi,you no dey wear bra and pant abi?Don't ask him for stupid and little things you can get by yourself. It kills your womanhood and ego.
THEORY FOUR:LET HIM SPEND FOR HIMSELF AND HIS FAMILY-I have heard stories of divorces where the reason for them was because the woman did not want the man to spend and care for his family members.Haba!Madam,you are heartless o,so he should abandon his family because of you,but you can ask for money for aso-ebi when your own grandfather dies abi,he will not only buy for you sef,he will buy for Iya Fatimo your sister,Mama Taju your aunt,Is he a father christmas?.Look,don't be self centred and selfish.Let him give to his family.Most times,a man is judged through his wife by the way he spends.If a married man is selfish towards his family,you will hear people say it is the wife who controls his money even if it was the man who became a miser on his own accord.Also,learn to spend for his family too.Buy things for his mom whether or not he gives you the money.Be generous tori Olorun!
Again,let him spend for himself.If you had told him you needed a phone and he bought his own phone first,Sister pleeeaaaassse don't be mad,remember,Na hin money o!
THEORY FIVE:DON'T MONITOR HIS MONEY FOR HIM-Madam,don't ask him for things on the day he comes home with brown envelope alone.It makes you look desperate and gold-diggerous(lol).Ask him before or after.Don't monitor his phone at the end of the month just for you to get the "credit alert"sms of his salary.Naturally,men don't like to feel trapped or dispensable not for anything but for their ego.Don't EVER ask him how he spent his salary.If he tells you,fine!You are lucky and if he doesn't,madam,don't be mad.Don't make it a priority.Instead,monitor your own money.
THEORY SIX:LEARN TO SPEND FOR HIM TOO-Hmmn,this is where I get hisses and "this one dey mad" question.Auntie,believe it or not,part of caring is part of spending.Some Ladies(single and married) have the habit of buying only singlet and boxers for the men ONLY on his birthday and/or valentine's day.Let's assume he depends on you the way you depend on him,so he will have only one or two singlets and boxers abi?Learn to buy other things for him.Learn to buy other things for him on ordinary days,don't wait till his birthday,val's day or christmas day.Buy things that can improve his life.Buy books,tapes,get him seminar tickets that can change him.Don't buy N200 china boxers for him and expect gucci bra.No,remember one good turn deserves another.
THEORY SEVEN:BE PATIENT WHEN IT IS RED-Dear Jil,please know that patience is a virtue.Make sure you own it.When Uncle Jack says he doesn't have what you've asked for,don't fret.Be patient.Don't stop loving him.Be patient.Don't rant through proverbs or other childish manners to him.Please be patient.Sometimes he might tell you his bank account is in red shape just to see how far and well you can endure,learn to be loving when it is time to soak garri and kuli kuki.He go do you well.
THEORY EIGHT:DON'T SPEND IRRATIONALLY-Jiliatu(lol),don'
THEORY NINE:LEND HIM AND DON'T BEND HIM-Oga o,some women can't lend their men money and if Jesus Christ says they should eventually do,you will see the way they broadcast and squeeze the life of that man to get it back.Kilode????Learn to be financially helpful when need be.If it is red,sometimes he will be the one who needs the money and other times,it might be you.We all know when we ask our Uncles and they say "Joor ya mi,Ma fun e pada".They know they owe you.If you lend him the money gan paapaa,don't make his life worse by asking in an ill-mannered way.Don't bend him!
THEORY TEN-BE A FINANCIALLY WISE PARTNER- Jil,a real woman is not by how she looks but by what she knows and does.Help your man build a financially stable life.Advise him to protect his future.Don't let and help him spend money on useless things when he can save.The money you can both spend in Club Vegas,do you know you can use it to buy shares?.Madam,please be financially wise for him.Tell him to invest and protect and procure both your futures and your children's.
THEORY ELEVEN:LEARN TO DRAW THE LINE-As a woman,learn and look out for stupid men who only have the mission to spend your money.Some Idiots are out there that they can bring the problems of their grand fathers just so you have to give them money.Auntie Olowo,Shine your eyes,if he demands too much,Know he's in for the sugar.Common sense should dictate.
Finally,Auntie Jil don't make money your first priority not only in a relationship but in all things.If you don't love him when he's broke,you can never truly love hime when he's rich.Be good,be humble,be independent.Wishing you a jolly,financially secured love voyage.
WATCH OUT FOR UNCLE JACK'S PERSPECTIVE.
Yours sincerely,
SISI TITI
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